by Kim Tairi
As she climbed the stairs, every inch of her body ached and walking wasn't easy. She thought to herself, this is one injury that time won't ever heal. It wasn't at all like the movies... hitting people hurt like hell. Her knuckles were bruised and the ringing in her ears hadn't stopped yet. Watching the light go out in his eyes was sickening and the waiting was making her stomach churn. Death, his death hadn't made anything better... the suffering continued.
6S
Kim Tairi, a poet and runner, is looking for Sanctuary.
20081023
Retribution
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8 comments:
Really powerful. Succinct and to the point - with emotion behind every sentence and just enough detail to really pack a punch (no pun intended). Great job!
KM
This is really strong! Good 6.
Jeanette Cheezum
Your economy of words made this piece stronger.
caccy46
Poignant and just a heart-wrenching read. Excellence in six sentences.
Love this.
I especially like the way the sentences build on one another. The reader (at least this one)has no idea that there is a murder involved until the 5th sentence, when we are told "Watching the light go out in his eyes was sickening." That is a vivid description of death.
kim
good work here...congrats
this was amazing...
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