by Hairless Orphan
Yuri's mom has tits out to here and a wardrobe that is one-dimensional but not boring. We could never really talk to Mrs. Yellow-Down because the z-axis of her presence was always at the periphery; it pressed down on you the way God does in a church pew. You can't listen, not look, look normal, and respond intelligently all at the same time, which is probably why Mrs. Yellow-Down thinks all men blither. It didn't help that Ms. Yellow married Mr. Down, a man who actually did blither, even beyond Ms. Yellow's company. But she couldn't tell the difference, at least not until Mr. Yellow-Down blithered his way into an early grave. That was two years ago, and after the accident there were two solid weeks of respectful mourning before we all tried to make it with Mrs. Yellow-Down.
Hairless Orphan is neither hairless nor an orphan. He still hasn't done enough to have a bio, but his obit would be pretty long.