Sit Down and I'll Tell You

by Bob Jacobs

For those who have ever asked, "Why are we here?" sit down and I'll tell you. You see, a few billion years ago the universe formed and ever since then atoms have been rearranging themselves with the sole intention of answering that very question, forming worlds, creating life, and stimulating evolution. Life moved all the way from simple unicellular micro-organisms through to complex bipedal hominids until, at a particular time and in a particular place, two pale sentient beings labeled Simon and Garfunkel brought together a sequence of vocal and instrumental sounds known as "Bridge Over Troubled Water." That song is the entire reason the universe was created. Or, more precisely, to achieve an expression of love so deep and irrefutable that the universe could smile and know it had done its job, and could then begin unraveling, undoing what it had done, bringing down whole civilizations, ancient and new, extinguishing life forms, slowly at first then gathering speed, destroying whole planets, solar systems, galaxies, until where once there had been words and music, notes and lyrics that could light up a black hole, only a smug silence and sentimental darkness would remain. As the pace of unraveling increases around us, I can't help wishing that the people of the world might gather together in one gigantic naked group hug, listen to that expression of love over and over at high volume, laugh a little, cry a little, and enjoy what we had, before it's too damn late.


Bob Jacobs, whose full catalog is here, lives in the south-east of England with his wife and kids and Sony Vaio. In his spare time he likes to lie motionless on his back, whistling and staring at clouds.