It's Good to Stalk

by Rob Marshall

I was stalking before it was considered fashionable: an angelic schoolboy with the devil on my back and binoculars in my satchel. You never forget your first victim: well, Dear Reader, I married her. Traumatized for years by the man in the ski mask hiding in her room, knife against soft flesh, punching holes where no holes should be. She dropped out of school, found salvation in drugs and hope in me – ten years married, baby on the way, complete picture of domestic happiness. She’s feeling a bit delicate tonight, so I’m taking her a nice cup of tea as she rests in bed. It’s pleasantly surprising that the ski mask still fits after all these years.


Rob Marshall, author of The Railway Children, is the 18th pale descendant of Jane Austen and wants to be stalked (applications on a postcard).