Nickles

by Mercury

If I had a nickel for every time he hurt her at a January dance, I would have five cents. I would use this five cents to buy a stamp, which I would put on a letter filled with hate and foul language, and then send the whole kit and caboodle to him. If I had a nickel for every time he hurt her this year, I would be able to send these letters for a year. If I had a nickel for every time he hurt her at all, I could go out and buy a computer. Not only would I then be able to send him hate letters without buying stamps, I would also be able to sign him up for all the spam I can find, thus sending his computer to a firey hell of virusdom. As it happens, no one has offered to give me a nickel for any of these things, I so am settling for calling him up and swearing at him for hours on end, then putting it on my parents' phone bill.

6S

Mercury, author of Cold Hands, knows this isn't even a fraction of what he deserves, but as she is short on funds, it'll have to do.