The Brothers Phillips

by Arthur Daniels

In 1911, a down-at-the-heels tool maker by the name of Andrew Phillips patented a uniquely designed screw, and only LATER did he invent the necessary screwdriver to make his new screw of any use. One year later, his brother Allen, mimicking Andrew's eccentric approach to the creative order of things, designed his variety on his brother's screw and, like Andrew, patented the necessary wrench to go with this screw, and again, like his brother, long AFTER the introduction of his screw. Mr. Phillips and his brother Allen subsequently formed a company aptly named "The Screw You Corporation" and flooded the market with their products. Their insidious designs have been the bane of mechanics world-wide and have befuddled the countless millions of common folk needing the means to make simple repairs to every-day household objects. The brothers Phillips both perished in a mysterious industrial accident in 1947 and their cremated remains were strewn all over the grounds of a now defunct automobile factory in Detroit. Serves them right.


Arthur Daniels, 58, married with two daughters and four grandchildren, has been everything from a zoo keeper to a sea cook on an oceanographic research vessel. He used to play a lot of Chopin, but since his left hand no longer cooperates, he now plays a lot more like Thelonious Monk: floppy left hand outlining the harmonic structure of the music. Despite his medical issues, he's just fine, and reinventing himself daily. He is the author of The Letter. Check him out on Helium.