20080125

My Main Problem with Britney Spears

by Andrew Mason

I think Britney Spears is an embarrassment. She's thoughtless and crude. She's a poor mother. She's intellectually unappealing. She represents all that's wrong with American culture. Yet, despite this overwhelming list of negativity, my main problem with Britney Spears is this: I'd still pay top dollar to have her sit on my face.

6S

Andrew Mason lives in Buffalo, New York. His writing has appeared in Pindeldyboz and Word Riot.

7 comments:

roger daubach said...

while at this point in her life and career i'd pay top dollar to make sure she got nowhere near my face, i still laughed at the pay-off.

nicely written.

E.K. Hornbeck said...

Hilarious. I tend to agree with Roger. If Britney were to sit on my face at this point, it would have to be through a large piece of durable Saran™ Wrap. She is not quite as sexy as she used to be. Crazy can kill sexy.

Rick Bylina said...

Andrew...I think the cold and snow of Buffalo have affected you. She was driving around in her car sans underwear on the same seat that her kid vomited on the day before.

Anonymous said...

Interesting (and funny) counterpoints, but I'm still with Andrew.

Madam Z said...

Men are sooooo easy. And funny, too.

Jp said...

I had no idea where that was headed and it made getting there that much better. Though at this stage, I think I'm going to have to join the "protective layer required" crowd.

Anonymous said...

I think you properly speared her. Touche!