How to End a Conversation in 6 Words

by Joseph Grant

Being each conversation was about nothing but work, Eileen was in dire straits trying to keep from being bored to tears at her boss’s annual backyard party, when she espied what appeared to be the nose-jobbed, face-peeled and brow-lifted equivalent of the Three Hags from Macbeth toiling in trashy gossip and grandstanding over their social cauldron. “My husband is a CEO with a Fortune 500 Corporation and we usually don’t come to such pedestrian affairs but we are doing the Ibersons a favor, one might say.” “My husband is an investment banker with Morris, Lindell & Kantell on Wall Street as am I and we too are doing the Ibersons a favor; we always summer together with them on the Vineyard, if you must know.” “Well, my husband is a Chief Surgeon over at Methodist and we drove in from the city in the Maserati he gave me last year for the holidays, thank Gawd that we’ve found each other at this party, ladies, as these get-togethers can be so droll and dreary, oh so tell me dear, what does your husband do, if I may ask?” “My husband is an Elvis imitator,” she said to the flabbergasted women, whose tightened mouths suddenly loosened and fell agape. Eileen excused herself with a wry smile as she walked away to get another glass of zinfandel; it was going to be a long night.


Joseph Grant, whose full catalog is here, has been published in over 55 literary reviews and e-zines, such as Byline, New Authors Journal, Howling Moon Press, Hack Writers, New Online Review, Indite Circle and Cerebral Catalyst.