20070630

The Question

by Quin

"What did you think when you first saw me?" he asked, his voice moving over a thousand miles of time and space. "Your coat, I wanted to pour lighter fluid over it and set it on fire, it was that ugly," I replied lightly, desperate to not disclose how my soul had flown to his. Bold and brave in my first try out in this world after so long blocked by betrayal and fear, I sped though my question to him, "What did you think, when you saw me?" He paused, causing me to feel as if that one sentence had completely emotionally eviscerated me, wanting to pull back the words, sick to my stomach, trying to find a way to make it a joke, while over the pulse of the phone line, I could hear the whisper of his breathing, the intake before he spoke, and my heart waited to break. "I stared, thinking if I look at her long enough, will she know how much I need her?" We were both silent, overcome by the knowledge we'd found home.

6S

Quin, author of Innocent Statements, is the nom de plume of a woman born and raised in New Orleans, who spent time in Colorado and later in Utah (where theater was discovered and taken to heart). Her children are loved forever, a terrier sleeps at her feet, and words ache to escape onto paper. Her version of life in New York is here.