Honeymoon

by Christian Smith

My first wife Keri had always dreamed of seeing Paris, but the unfortunate combination of her severe allergy to bee stings and her taste for very fresh honey left this and many other dreams unfulfilled. After a decent interval, I married Zoe, who didn’t even like honey and had no desire to mess with bees, but who shared with my first wife a love of the City of Lights. We honeymooned at the Hotel De L’exposition, in a room with a stunning view of the Eiffel Tower. Jet-lagged on my wedding night, I emerged from the bathroom to find my champagne-giddy bride spread across the hotel bed wearing the sauciest lingerie the city had to offer. Beside Zoe, unseen by her, was the ghastly specter of Keri; bee-stung and lumpy, amber honey dripping from her lolling tongue, one swollen finger wagging at me in jealous admonition, unwilling to concede her man or her city to any living rival. I knew we should have just gone to freakin’ Hawaii.

6S

Christian Smith, author of Six Questions, is a stay-at-home Dad in the Arizona high country, currently embroiled in the agonizingly slow process of editing his first novel.