Shave This!

by Madam Z

Sadie was fifteen years old, shy, thin and plain, and had to ride the school bus five days a week, no matter how miserable she felt because no one ever spoke to her or sat next to her. But one day, as she sat next to the window, staring straight ahead and pretending she didn’t care, Bif, the big, handsome, high school football champ she had admired from afar, came charging noisily up the aisle and plopped down next to her, giving her a big, friendly smile. She managed to smile back at him, in spite of her heart pounding so hard she was afraid it would break her ribs, and she thought, omigosh, maybe he likes me, even though I’m shy, thin and plain. Bif looked her up and down, his eyes finally settling on her thin, hairy arms, and then asked, in a loud voice, “Why don’t you shave your arms?” Sadie flushed bright red, first with embarrassment, then with anger and snapped back at him, “Why don’t you shave your ass?” Everyone within earshot burst into laughter, including Bif, and from then on, he sat next to Sadie every single day and by the end of the school year Sadie was still thin and plain, but she wasn’t shy anymore.

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Madam Z, author of Going Down, seldom shaves anything above her knees.