The Power of Distance

by Stephanie Sellars

“I never get jealous,” I used to boast. My boyfriends’ titillations with other women confirmed their desirability while justifying my shamelessly flirtatious behavior. Usually, if another person shows interest in someone I’m dating, I feel proud, not in a possessive sense, but as if my lover is a work of art. If he hangs alone in my private gallery, he may lose his appeal; the more admiration my lover inspires in others, the more value he has with me. Beyond the relativity of attractiveness, the idea of my lover being with someone else is often a turn-on, as the image places him in a new and distant light. This is especially effective in a long-term relationship suffering from the loss of novelty: distance, whether real or fabricated, re-opens the door to seduction.

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Stephanie Sellars is a singer, actress and writer. Her six sentences are taken from “Beyond Jealousy,” the March 6th entry of her “Lust Life” column in New York Press.