Anger Pangs

by Madam Z

I know it's not ladylike, but sometimes I get really angry and when that happens, sensible people had better just get out of the room quickly, because it could be dangerous to stick around. I try to control myself, but if someone just keeps on irritating me, yammering away after I have politely asked him to be quiet, I start to feel the hot lava boiling up in my gut. And if he still won't shut up after I have warned him that he's going to be sorry, the lava hits the back of my throat and I start spewing. All pretense of decorum is broiled alive at that point, and not only am I using some very unladylike vocabulary, but I have been known to threaten the offender with dismemberment, or even disembowelment. At that point, most of them get a little nervous, and start tiptoeing backwards toward the exit. One of them who didn't is buried in the back yard, but I did give him a fairly dignified burial, considering the circumstances.


Madam Z, author of Plain and Antsy, lives, loves, and writes unpublished stories in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, though her heart is still in her native California, which makes it extremely difficult to do much aerobic exercise.