My Dream

by Peter Farmer

I’m seven feet tall and incredibly fat, so a lot of folks found it disconcerting when I insisted on pursuing my dream of becoming a jockey. I know I can win the Triple Crown. I just know it. I excel at that motion where the jockey repeatedly hits the horse on the rear with the stick. You should see me do it – you’d be flabbergasted. I’m so awesome it’s ridiculous.


Peter Farmer is a pseudonym. He’s too embarrassed by this piece to reveal his true identity.